He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So vagazzling was a success
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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