doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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