I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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