My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize