Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
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I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
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Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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