He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
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