All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize