i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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