I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize