you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My feet surprised me
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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