can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize