Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just want nice things and good sex
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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