i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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