READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Come share oat with me in your robe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize