i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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