Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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