my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Is it penis luge time yet?
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Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
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you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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