If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize