Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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