Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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