Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
false alarm, still single
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