paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize