I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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