i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
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he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
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I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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