You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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