she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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