so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize