The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
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we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
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Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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