Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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