She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize