Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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