Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
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