Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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