They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
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Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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