Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize