please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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