Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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