I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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