He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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