I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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