never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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