I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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