She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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