i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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