I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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