I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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