I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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