mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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