I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
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You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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