May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize